Sex makes sense, without guidelines.

I am 98% positive it's not a mental pathology. I am about 80% positive it's just me feeling bad about not having actual companionship in more than a year. When I used to make my nightly phone calls to my girlfriend (it's been with the last 3), it was something I really did treasure for what it was. It's kind of like, putting chaotic emotions into a scheduled release period for one on one discussion. Of course, there was a lot more to talk about like courting, kissing, complaining and awesome sexy thoughts that have been quelled in the name of whatever holy man says it's wrong.

Which reminds me of something odd that happened to me the other day. Because I'm going to room with a few guys who haven't met me, my angst magnet drew a new deplorable act my way. Someone... who shall remain nameless but can be described as one of my old fraternity brother's hags... told my roomates not to room with me because I have lots of sex, drink and party. Then I got an e-mail from a numbered address, inside was about 100 or so bible verses and sermons about why having sex is a horrible sin.

For about 75 of the verses, they were listed like this: "wicked is those who steal from the poor, murder, idolize, and fornicators."

My philosophy is based more on reason/logic and life-conscious experience. I believe that two people, regardless of ideals or lifestyle, have an animal instinct. These instincts are primeval: Possession, Hunger, Thirst, Comfort, Pleasure, Procreation, and Companionship. Attraction starts physically, as deep as all of us want to be, it matters. If it isn't there right away, it'll build because of interest, emotional want, and desire for closeness. How many people do you know that you would just love to hold close and fall asleep together? I bet more than one.

Sex is a huge part of a healthy relationship. Sure it's not necessary right from the beginning, but having that closeness, intimacy and moment between you is something that truly makes or breaks your potential for long term. Here's the thing that I have against waiting until marriage. What happens if you date for years, follow all 100 obscure bible verses, get married, and both of you are COMPLETELY incompatable in bed? You're stuck with it! True, you do get better as you gain experience, but that doesn't matter if one of you is incompatable.

Itt is a realization that you need to find your physical match too. There's no such thing as a slut, or as a whore, or as a loose girl, or a person who sleeps around. The only people who talk about those who sleep around are those who aren't sleeping with anyone! Think about who you know, and think about what they say about others. Those who are in really great relationships... does anyone talk about how healthy their sex life is? Never! Because they're allowed to have all the sex they want, but if you've just met someone, or haven't known them for months, you aren't allowed to have a sex life. Going too fast and you're a ho, going too slow and you're taking too long. The best thing to do is listen to your body, ignore your head and follow your heart.

One of the bad things about the stigma of sex is that women have no way out. Men do, so men don't think about it so much. I think that you need to feel out each other, enjoy each other's bodies to the fullest, because there's only so many dinners and movies that you can buy before everything becomes bland and money oriented.